Be careful what you ask for...

Today I talked with my ex-BF and it feels nice to know that we can still be friends. He is such a good man. It's funny how the Universe answers our prayers exactly as we ask. Years ago before we met I remember coming up with a list of all the qualities, or things, I was looking for in a man. Here's what I can remember from that list:
Honest
Spiritual
Educated
Intelligent
Sensitive
Loving
Kind
Patient
Understanding
Funny
Gentle
Open-minded
Caring
Well read
Bilingual (Spanish & English)
Someone who liked women (I didn't mean hetrosexual, but rather someone who really liked the complexeties of the female psyche)
Good in bed (Wow, he's been the best so far!--and I have had many)

Well, as it turned out he does have all of these qualities, but as the saying goes, "Be careful what you ask for because you might get it." I think what the saying actually means is that you need to ask for exactly what you want because what you ask for is exactly what you will get, and only that--nothing more and nothing less.

What I should have included in that list is the following:

Someone with common sense (more important than intelligence)

Established career

Rich, or at least pretty well off

Goal-oriented

Emotionally stable

Socially adept
Not afriad of commitment

I should have specifically asked for the above list as well because he certainly has all the qualities listed in the first list, but he's lacking all the rest. It's so true what Dr. Slesinger always says, "Love is not enough." I used to think it was. I figured that if he had all the qualities on the first list, then everything else would work out--even if he did not have the money, the career, etc. But I finally had to realize and accept that if those other things are missing there are bound to be problems in the relationship. Despite the goodness of his soul, I had to let go of the hope that he would eventually pull his life together and we could have a "normal life". But either he can't or he won't, whichever it is it's not going to happen. And then you add to that my issues around anger, the fact that we are both recovering alcoholics, and that we both come from such dysfuntional families--well, no wonder we couldn't make it. But the important thing is we are still friends. He will always be someone special in my life.