Tonight I feel good about living alone. Sometimes it's not easy living alone, especially in a big house. Sometimes I wish I had someone to share it with, but not tonight. Tonight I am enjoying my solitude. I have the whole house to myself--it's my own space, my santuary. I am listening to Marc Anthony. Although I am not too crazy about him anymore (too much of a womanizer, I feel--but then again, he seems to be faithful to JLo), I'm totally in love with his music. I love his voice, the lyrics, and especially when he sings in Spanish. It sounds so hot. I would love to see him perform. I hear he is one hell of a performer.
Anyway, back to living alone---I was thinking how fortunate I am to own my own life. To be free to make my own decisions without having to answer to anyone. Growing up I never could have dreamt I would be living this life. I remember my father once told me he had to treat me mean so I would get used to it because I would be treated like that when I got married. In fact, he said, I would even be hit. The sadder thing was that he said it as if he wished that for me. I have had my share of relationships, unfortunately the majority of them with troubled, deeply wounded men, but never violent nor abusive. I am so proud of myself for proving my father wrong, for not believing I deserved what he wanted for me. I have created a life for myself free of chaos, violence, fear. I am in control of my life. Freedom! There is nothing in this world better for the soul than that and I feel blessed.
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3 comments:
Chulita, what an inspiring, empowering post! Yea! JanePoe
Jane Poe: I did feel empowered last night. Thanks. :)
Tatsie: Yep, good ole dad. Thank the Universe those years are no more.
Freedom to be a strong, secure woman, what a gift. I've seen Marc Anthony in concert many times, he is great, too bad he married Jlo. You are right his spanish albums are so much better.
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