My Promise to Me

Well, I just got back from my belly dance class--and it was great!! I was going to say that I finally took a step toward reclaiming my body, but I just realized something--I have never really owned my body. Or rather I have never felt integrated with my body. Up tuntil the last few years of my life it has always been something to hide. Something totally apart from me. Even as a little girl I was so self-conscious of my body, always comparing it to other girls, and always finding it lacking. A wise woman I know wrote a few weeks ago that we should love the skin we're in because it's the only one we have. And she is right. I have been blessed with this body that has served me so well until now, and I hope it continues to serve me well until the end. But it can only do that if I take care of it. Belly dance for me is one way to do that. I just love the movements. I am totally mesmorized when I see belly dancers perform, but I have never allowed myself to stick with it long enough so that I too can move my body so fluidly and gracefully. I realize tonight that it's been mostly due to the erroneous feelings I have had about my body. This time I have made a promise to myself--I will continue until I can be good enough to perform someday. That will be the ultimate tribute I can pay to this wonderful, faithful body that my Spirit chose to help it continue in it's evolution and journey toward Wholeness.